Boy

I remember opening my eyes with my head awkwardly resting on his flat chest. There was a silver hazy beam of sunlight spinning in-between the branches of tree shading us. My fingers gently stroking his chest, slowly, out of time to the music that loudly whispered to us. I could feel his eyes closed, his fingers gently brushing on my thick denim jacket.

I looked upwards, grinned and plugged his nostrils. He frowned, not opening his eyes for a few seconds before wincing at me.

‘You’re dead,’ I said.

‘That effectively does nothing!’ he argued. ‘It’s my mouth you have to cover, not my nose, I can’t breathe out of it remember?’

‘Oh shit, yeah that’s right,’ I laughed. I cupped my palm and raised it to his mouth.

‘No, too late now!’ he laughed as I plugged his nose again and held my hand over his mouth.

‘You’re dead,’ I said again, giggling. He shook my hand away chuckling. I remember we both looked down at each other’s lips, his eyes under half his lids, before we both leaned in and kissed. He was so gentle, so slow and careful. We’d lock for a good ten or so seconds at a time before puckering again.

And then

I snickered.

‘What?’ he said.

‘We’re literally talking about homicide and then hook up.’

He laughed, ‘Yeah, that’s a first.’

‘Fucking weirdo,’ I said as our giggles settled and we continued kissing, my fingertip stroking his temple, hand scooping his ear.

My forehead was gently kissing the pillow, bowed in frustration and exhaustion. I wasn’t freezing, but there was that element of being uncomfortably cold. He rolled over, his eyes flickering as his arm closed around my waist, and then, he panicked.

‘Hey, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing!’ I reassured him, turning over onto a softer pillow beside me. ‘It’s fine, go back to sleep.’

‘No, tell me,’ his sleepy voice croaked.

‘I just had to buy plane tickets for mum and dad.’

‘Everything okay?’

‘Yeah, yeah it’s fine. Just…stressed out. I can’t sleep,’ I sighed. ‘My mind’s too active.’

‘It’s okay,’ he held me closer, nuzzling his face into my back, kissing me gently. ‘I’m here.’

I felt my insides melt into warm wax, completely forgetting how cold I was feeling just for a minute or so.

‘Thank you,’ I whispered, reaching for his hand resting on my thigh, stroking it lovingly until he fell asleep again, which didn’t take long.

I woke up with a start around 5 maybe, boiling under my sheep wool jacket. I threw it off, my groggy moans waking him up.

‘What’s wrong?’ he mumbled, again, panicking slightly.

‘I’m too hot,’ I whined, falling back into his arms. I remember I said something else, my voice almost freaking out in a sense. I can’t remember what it was I was saying, but all I remember was him gently calming me.

‘I’m here, girl,’ he whispered. ‘I’m here.’

I love you, I wanted to say.

He’d been silent for the past hour, in a confused state of sleep when he could wake with the smallest sigh I could’ve made, but mange to sleep through a very loud shooting montage on the laptop beside his heavy skull. At one point, I slipped down, facing the wall. My arm stretched backwards, rubbing his leg in a reassuring way.

‘I like you, girl,’ he said almost out of nowhere. My heart leapt and I rolled over slightly grinning.

‘I like you too, boy.’ I swam over to him, kissing his cheek gently, pulling back his waxy hair.

He turned into me later, internally moaning as his arm wrapped around my layered waist.

‘Are you okay?’ I asked softly.

‘Yeah, I’ll be okay,’ he mumbled. ‘I’ve got you,’ he added exhausted, his breath coming out as though he was sleeping.

I giggled silently, combing his hair before kissing his cheek again, ‘I’m going to miss you boy,’ I said, almost playfully.

His cheeks were squashed and he was so sleepy it was hard to understand, but I’m convinced he replied with, ‘I’ll miss you too.’