The Aberration

Finally, she was safe.

Sitting against the brick wall of the library, hidden between shelves of thick informative books that no one bothered to acknowledge, Samantha Richardson felt hidden from the world. Just for the next ten minutes of recess, anyhow. Soon she would need to work up the courage to go back into the frosty sunlit morning and blend in as best as she could before the day ended, but her lip hadn’t stopped trembling yet. She tried to hide this by sinking her chin down into her favourite book – a picture book filled with fairy tales. Knowing this wasn’t high school appropriate, her knees rose to block the front cover from the view of anyone passing by the shelves. It wasn’t particularly easy to read being awkwardly crouched in this manner. Not that she ever read the stories. She simply liked admiring the pictures, trying to conjure up her own version of what the illustrations meant. Perhaps this is what she had done with Dominic.

His eyes were shallows of an aqua ocean, and she immediately felt herself sinking into them upon meeting him. His shaggy blonde hair was as dry as sand, often hidden by caps. When he first tugged her into him and kissed her, she realised he had quite large lips. In fact, they seemed to almost vacuum her like a fish swallowing a food pellet in one go.

But his desirable appearance didn’t extend to his personality. She’d been ignoring this until today. His red flags were egotistically raised to the top of the flagpole with pride. He was rude to teachers whenever they asked him to remove his cap. She noticed his cruel cackle whenever he stood on the back of some poor victim’s shoe whilst walking down the hallway. It looked as though it would it would hurt, but surely if he was laughing, he was joking?

Samantha hadn’t properly questioned this until Miss Isla pulled her to the side after English class just a few days ago.

‘I’m glad you find the good in people, darling, but let someone see good in you too,’ she smiled weakly.

Samantha didn’t know what this meant, so she asked Toby, a nice boy who tried to help her in maths, as it definitely wasn’t her strongest subject.

‘It’s what’s on the inside that counts,’ said Toby. ‘Dominic seems to ignore your inner beauty.’

‘What do you mean?’ she asked. Toby blushed and didn’t answer, in fear of becoming one of Dominic’s latest bullying victims (especially as he was secretly quite fond of Samantha).

Evidently, she was flawless. It was what had attracted Dominic to her at all. She had a rich beauty about her; sharp emerald eyes, lightly tanned skin, waves of muddy hair silhouetted around her almond face, and across her nose were careful dabs of light freckles.

Inner beauty, though? She’d never heard of such a phrase. Whatever it was, staring in the mirror wasn’t giving her an answer during recess.

‘Nice top, Samantha,’ Marissa said when she had arrived in the bathrooms to check up on her makeup. She had trouble hiding the nasty smirk as she examined Samantha’s button-down green top, scattered in tiny daisies. ‘I think I saw my grandma wearing it once.’

‘Thank you,’ said Samantha, not quite understanding her sarcasm. She turned back to the mirror and looked at her lips, which were quite dry and a little cracked. Her teeth? Normal, straight, yellowy-white. Inner-beauty? Maybe she had a nice tongue? She poked it out, scrutinising over it closely as Marissa stared at her judgementally, dabbing a fat blob of liquid (her apparent skin colour) on her finger.

‘Are you retarded?’

‘What?’

‘Nothing,’ Marissa sang, her smile stretching – cracking the dried foundation on her orange cheeks. Unlike Samantha, her beauty was bought with expensive facial products and busty lingerie. She attracted hungry attention and her confidence flaunted off it. And only a few months ago when Samantha walked into the gates of Westburg high did she realise how fragile and short-term this personality contract was, as the notion of someone foreign entering the school was too captivating to ignore. For once, Marissa had lost the attention she hungered over; it especially didn’t help that this new girl was so beautiful. Not that Marissa would ever admit to that. A bitterness with the sharpness of acid coursed through her blood and although the feeling was triggering, there was a severe attraction for this new competition.

So she observed Samantha carefully, sometimes too intensely which clearly made the new girl uncomfortable. Not that Samantha had ever actually caught her staring (which also gave Marissa a surge of narcissistic thrill). When she did watch though, she saw Samantha for who she was: weird and slow. And Samantha would watch others intently too, as if studying their behaviour. She smiled when they smiled, laughed when they laughed. It was like she had to latch onto reactions to blend in as best she could. She even spoke with a strange accent when she first arrived (though it had now faded) and it was rumoured that she was Spanish and therefore, ‘super hot.’

Marissa wasn’t buying it. She was convinced Samantha was an alien.

‘Yeah, but a hot alien,’ Dominic said when Marissa suggested this theory.

This thought unintentionally made her raise an eyebrow moodily in the mirror. Noticing this, Samantha cowered slightly and fiddled with her necklace.

‘Marissa, do you think Dominic loves my inner-beauty?’ she dared asked.

Oh, jackpot, Marissa thought. She couldn’t have been more intimidating,

more in her element to hear the feebleness in Samantha’s voice. She couldn’t help playing it up even more by snorting.

‘Oh, honey, you really don’t have a clue, do you?’

‘Where can I get one?’

‘See that bin over there?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Look in it.’

Samantha wandered to the corner of the bathroom. She expected to see something in there, but it was barren due to the cleaner’s arrival that morning.

‘There’s nothing in here. It’s just empty.’

‘Exactly, just like you,’ Marissa smacked her lips and cackled as she left the bathroom.

A dull ache burst across Samantha’s chest, as though her heart had tried to bruise her from the inside. She wiped away the embarrassed tears of sweat from the buds of her hairline as she eyed the toilet stall door. She could always go in there and cry. This wasn’t the first time Marissa’s hostility had gotten to her. Unfortunately, Dominic was the division that fractured their relationship before it even had a chance. Some had rumoured that Samantha had actually stolen Dominic from Marissa – a phenomenon that had never occurred until recently. Whether this was true or not, the nastiness of Marissa has never been more tested than the settlement of the new girl.

‘She’s just jealous,’ Toby sneered, although he did so quietly, as he was just as secretly terrified of Marissa. ‘The most popular boy in school wants you over her. For once, Dominic has a decent sense of taste.’

Blood sprouted in Samantha’s cheeks when he said this and for a second she couldn’t help the powerful grin that exposed her dimples.

Maybe she could go talk to Toby now? He was always lovely.

No, she wanted his arms around her – to comfort her, love her. She heard the rumour too and this was her most powerful asset against Marissa. Not that she saw Dominic in this way; she was far too blinded and naïve thinking he was the prince of her dreams.

She took a deep breath and swung the door open, glad to see he was outside waiting for her. He didn’t look quite as impressed; in fact he looked bored to see her.

‘Hi!’ she smiled, wrapping her arms around his toned waist. Embarrassed, he swiped them off and hissed at her, ‘What the hell are you wearing?’

‘A top Marissa’s grandma also wears. Don’t you think that’s lovely?’

‘Yeah, am I dating Marissa’s grandma?’

‘No.’

‘No, I’m not! So don’t wear that shit again. Christ, it’s got a collar.’

‘But-’

‘Do you even want to be with me, babe?’

By now, tears had turned her eyes glassy. She nodded as a shiver pricked at her exposed arms. She hugged herself, spearing her nails into her skin.

‘Well, you better start dressing like it.’

She couldn’t think of how to respond to that as he walked off, deserting her in the bustling corridor. It was then that she rushed to the library to calm her emotions for the remainder of the break. But it was over now.

The bell-like radar whined throughout the library, prompting a chorus of grumbles and moans from students nearby. They packed up books and laptops, folded their flip phones and headed for the main school building.

She plucked up the courage, closed her fairy tale book and wrapped it in her hoodie. The last time it had been on proud display, Dominic and his friends had laughed, snatching it off her and throwing it to one-another in a game of piggy in the middle. Samantha wasn’t familiar with this cruel routine and pleaded desperately, running in circles trying to catch her beloved book. When Drew - Dominic’s best friend - held it out the window, she burst into ugly childish tears. The way they screwed their faces up and left her sobbing in the hallway, cradling her storybook, was a situation Samantha never wanted to find herself in again.

By the time she reached her locker, everyone had left for class. She pulled out a pen and a stolen English textbook she’d found lying in the lost property buckets in the hallway. It was an older edition with mismatched pages, but Miss Isla always came over to help her find the right page. Marissa would subtly roll her eyes whenever this happened.

‘I thought for a teacher’s pet you had to be smart,’ she once sneered.

By the time Samantha arrived in class today, most seats were filled. She had no choice but to sit on a lone table in the centre of the room, surrounded by irritated eyes as Miss Isla reassured her that she wasn’t in trouble. Although her classmates treated Samantha with sweetness when she first arrived a little over a month ago, the novelty had worn off to be met with impatience and annoyance. Marissa’s stories about Samantha were starting to become a little more inventive and therefore juicier gossip lately. The energy had clearly changed, and even for those who hadn’t heard any unpleasant news about Samantha had became subliminally irked by her presence.

‘Pathetic teacher’s pet,’ Marissa hissed. Humiliated pearls of sweat ran down the back of Samantha’s neck. Every so often throughout the lesson Marissa’s foot would shove the back of her chair, lurching her against the table. Even Dominic snorted watching this.

By the end of the period, all Samantha had gained was a page of scribbles and sore ribs. She took her time leaving the classroom, pretending to write coherent sentences as everyone filed out to get to lunch.

‘Is everything okay, Samantha?’ Miss Isla asked softly.

‘Um,’ she started, trying hard not to cry.

‘Are you coming or what?’

Both of their heads shot over to Dominic, leaning against the doorframe lazily. As if spell struck, Samantha couldn’t help the smile that erupted across her cheeks. He loved her, he cared about her and he waited for her. Maybe he was just being silly and joking around in class. Maybe Marissa was just jealous. Dominic couldn’t help that.

Samantha rushed out of the room, ignoring her teacher as she fell under her boyfriend’s heavy muscular arm.

‘Thanks for waiting!’ she gasped, beaming as judgemental looks followed them walking down the hallway, but she decided she didn’t care. They were just envious that she was here under the arm of the most handsome, popular boy in school.

‘Yeah, you were taking your time, again,’ Dominic grumbled. ‘I’ll have to wait ages to get a chiko roll now.’

‘I’m so sorry!’ Samantha cried as they got to her locker. She threw her book in and slammed the little door shut.

‘Guess you’ll just have to make it up to me,’ he said, this time in a different tone of voice. He’d used this tone a couple of times and each time it had terrified Samantha. His hips leaned into hers, her body pressed awkwardly up against him as he pinned her against the lockers gently. People snickered as they passed by, disgusted yet entertained at the embarrassing public display.

‘Dominic, no,’ she said, swiping his wrists away in a hurry. This was certainly not the reaction he was expecting. He stepped back, his expression suddenly turning to repulsion. He shook his head at her.

‘I can’t go on like this much longer,’ he hissed threateningly as he turned to stomp down the hall, fist tightened around his money for lunch.

Although she decided she wouldn’t bother eating at school today, (she was convinced she might choke if she tried to swallow anything past the sharp lump that had suddenly formed in her throat) she still took an apple out of her bag and headed down the corridor. She clutched her neck, gently trying to squeeze the uncomfortable pressure away.

Negativity echoed across her mind as she wandered out into a rather brilliant sunny day. She barely raised her chin as she approached a square of park benches where Marissa and her friends sat. As always, they glanced uncertainly as Samantha sat by them, but their attention quickly diverted as a boy clumsily tripped up beside them. Laughter erupted, but for once, Samantha didn’t join in. She noticed the pickling buds of rose on the boy’s cheeks, the olive pips for pupils as he hurried away nervously, dodging the pelts of ham sandwich Drew began to throw at him.

She couldn’t even force a smile. She couldn’t convince herself to muster a giggle. She couldn’t even turn to kiss Dominic on the cheek as he slumped beside her, arm heaving across her shoulders. Usually the weight was a comfort, but for the first time, Samantha felt her arms fold inwards. Her lips screwed in slight disgust as he ripped a bite out of his Chiko roll.

For the first time, Dominic’s beauty failed to fool her. The smears of tomato sauce around his lips didn’t seem to help his case. It looked disgustingly of blood and the thought alone was enough for her stomach to start swaying. She was ready to excuse herself to the bathroom, or maybe back to the library to get her mind straight, when Dominic sprayed slightly chewed cabbage pieces into her lap.

‘What the hell is that?’ he laughed in hysterics.

She followed his eyes across the yard and her organs suddenly turned to stone. Her lips parted as she peered at the nervous slim figure, a burst of recognition captivating her mind, though she knew she’d never seen this boy before. And yet, in a single instant, everything she’d come to learn about her world was about to fracture completely.